Resolutions and New Days

photo courtesy of E. Wells

If you’re like me, you’ve heard more than enough about new year’s resolutions.  (After I wrote that, I was re-reading old blog posts – funny thing, a similar thought was posted last January in Here We Go, 2011 ).  I’m really not being redundant!

As the calendar changes, so do outlooks, diets, and  exercise habits.  The thing is, the new year is just a new day. Just each of the other 364 days in the year. And the first week in January is one of 52 new weeks we get to start. Is there a need to fuss over new year’s? Instead, could we set a strong example each day or each week?  This  process of self-reflection and growth helps children take ownership for their learning and their life and can=, in fact, become a routine part of life that surface more often simple new year’s resolutions.

In many elementary classrooms, the idea of resolutions is evident  at this time of year. Often September hopes are revisited and revised mid-year and there is some discussion of growth.  As a Follow Up To, Here We Go, I wrote about how one third grade class worked through the arduous process of reflection and goal setting. Some of those kids have stopped by recently to tell me what current hopes and goals they’ve set.  Very cool to see how they use that  example and forge ahead in their new developmental stage.  In many classrooms, January is the time to stop and practice these important life skills. But the key lies in using that reflection on personal and academic growth on a more regular basis.

As young children struggle to understand the concept of time (“this year” s. the school year that is barely halfway over) and begin wrestle with how to achieve lofty goals, they are beginning the lifelong process of evolution. To do this, they need thoughtful adults to help them identify the objectives and tasks requisite toward achieving any type of  goal. Concrete thinkers can to begin to identify  their growing edges and decide the next steps – beyond meeting  obligations that yield extrinsic rewards. The challenge for supportive adults is to keenly and authentically ask questions and observe in order to discern what is truly important to the child and to work collaboratively to set small steps of achievable objectives.  Practice with these steps – identification of areas to grow or change,  breaking down larger tasks into smaller one, and  diligently working to move forward – are life skills that serve children throughout their schooling and life.

No matter how valuable this process is, the truth remains that each of us have the power to set goals each day, not  just each year. Just like an intention set during a meditation or at the start of a yoga practice daily goals can be simple and actionable, not to mention, heart-felt.  When we are honest and compassionate with ourselves, we can set small and achievable goals every day for both ourselves and alongside children.  As we model  honest self-reflection and clearly identified purpose, children can see how being mindful and open to growth each day brings positive results.

In the classroom, this might be something as simple as, “think of one way you can take care of our materials today” or “what is one hard thing you think you might try in math workshop.”  Follow this up with reinforcing language (“I noticed you took some time to straighten the books in our biographies basket…”) or time at the end of the day for a quick check-in (“how did it feel to try the math challenge?”) and you’re taking a child to the next step.  Beyond just thinking of what could be done better, more thoroughly or with a greater sense of purpose, you are offering  keen observations and carefully crafted questions that help to  build confidence, autonomy and positive attitude on learning and life.

That’s more than a new year’s resolution. It’s a fresh start each and every day.  All the best in the new year and each new day!

Keep On, Keepin’ On

Years ago I had a student teacher who really, really disliked these little yellow smiley faces. We laughed about it often, but since then, I rarely think about them.  In the midst of a fairly chaotic morning, I caught sight of a car in the parking lot with one of these stickers on it and it made me giggle.  Short of a spontaneous laughter yoga workshop, giggling at the sticker and remembering what a daily struggle my early years as a teacher were (as they are for nearly all new teachers).  It also reminded me that I had it in me to keep on keepin’ on.

The first day back from any vacation is always a challenge,  especially given that most of our wee ones only come three days a week. It’s been eons since we’ve all been together, so I intended  to take it slowly today. Nonetheless, the energy was building. Everyone, big and small, had needs today. Urgent needs. Serious needs. Not-so-serious needs. Heart-felt, excited needs.  I felt like Jonathan Fields’ when he tweeted “Morning Friends. Who can I Help Today?”

Just as I began to wonder if I actually had enough in me to help all those in need, one of our wee ones summoned the words and his empathy to aid a friend. “Oh, I can show you. This puzzle goes like this!”  In a few short moves, he helped replace a puzzle that toppled, thereby preventing  a major melt down by the timid-one who knocked it over.  Smocks didn’t go on straight. We couldn’t allow everyone to drop an entire cinnamon stick in the applesauce we were making (after all, we will eat it tomorrow!).  Snack was needed soon to counter the dropping blood sugar levels.  Bathroom trips simply could not happen simultaneously, but rather as  a chain-reaction.

Mid-morning I walked of the gym, leaving them with their dear P.E. teacher for a short spell when  I heard a tragically sad, “Miss Lisaaaaaaaaaah!” Within a nanosecond, I saw the same dear P.E. teacher gently console our friend and give him the important job of helping her set up their circuit course.  Then there was the hanging on the bookshelf that nearly caused the it to topple, had I not jumped out of my shoes at caught it at a 45 degree angle.  Fortunately, the only thing that lost its battle with gravity was a luscious lavender plant.  So we christened the new electric broom and walked around sniffing lavender sprigs.

Things – especially me – were feeling unsettled.

I called upon some deep breathing exercises to channel my own energy and tried to forge ahead. It wasn’t coming and that was more frustrating that any of the minor fires I had been putting out.  I thought about that yellow smiley face and that stage in my career.  Maybe my student teacher didn’t like it because it seemed to simply life, and I knew teaching was a lot of things, but it is not simple, but it is good for loads of smiles.  I pondered how I managed to integrate so many routines, strategies, philosophies and practices rather quickly so early in my career.   Decades later, much of that is second nature, but it wasn’t making itself available to me very easily today.  I watched my skilled and graceful assistant gather the group and read a story and thought, “Gee, that looks easy. Get back in the saddle, Lisa!”  I know children are excellent barometers of how the adults around them feel and the energy we put out.  If I  didn’t rein in what I had going on, it would be contagious…soon!

We weathered the morning in large part, due to the strong foundation of routines and relationships we’ve built over the past three months.   I trust and can rely on my teaching partner; watching her reminded me I wasn’t alone and that we had a great thing going with these little ones.  The routines we established eventually fell into place this morning as we slowed down and helped find activities that appealed to each child at that moment.  Our wee ones had come to trust and rely on us even as they are gaining a stronger sense of themselves.  Before we knew it, it was about time to begin clean up and closing circle.

Was today a struggle emotionally and physically? Yup!  By 12:30 both teachers were beat, 6 kids were getting settled at rest down the hall, and it’s likely  the other 10 were nearly asleep en route home.  This morning was reminder that you just have to keep on keepin’ on.  The challenges were sure to be short-term and like so many things in life, were fleeting and transitory.   Breathing and  laughing were the short-term solutions that provided the stamina to round out the morning.  A bit of Patience, Grasshopper  combined with conversations with colleagues and reflections about the morning provided the strategies for the bigger picture – not to mention a few good laughs and encouragement that tomorrow is a new day!

But the real pay off in keepin’ on were the sleepy-eyed hugs, the giggles, pinky-waves and humongous smiles as we said good-bye. Preschoolers are all about keepin’ on – every morning is new territory, ready to be tackled no matter what the terrain. Their joy and love of life is the best motivator to keep on keepin’ on!

Painting, Chatting and Child Development

Between the ages of three and six, children are “egocentric.”  In the truest sense, they  interpret the world from their own point of view.  Their  world revolves around them.   As Piaget’s research showed, they tend to think everyone else  thinks or sees the same things they do.

Around the same time, the are also entering the early stages of cooperative play.  As Nancy Carlsson Paige writes in Taking Back Childhood, “..children this age often love to play together, and they usually play best when their interest coincide – that is, when they like to do or play the same things.”  As this interaction between two three-and-a-half year old  painters illustrates, children are just reaching out to others, but are still firmly rooted in their own world.

Elle and James (pseudonyms, of course)  are using craypas, liquid water-color paint and books with photos of leaves to paint leaves.  The only guideline was to one color paint at a time.

James (looking at Elle’s work):  I have green. Now I am going to out some yellow in mine.  (Dips in yellow jar).

Elle (looking sideways but not turning head):  I am going to put some green on MINE.  That okay with you?

James:  Yeah.

Elle: It’s good to share.

James: I know, I know.

side by side

The pair resumes working  and they  share amicably and then begin quietly discussing the colors on their leaves.

James: Look at my beautiful side, Um… look at mine!

Elle:  Look at MINE!

James: Ah, mine is beautiful, MINE IS BEAUTIFUL!

Elle:   This is how we make beautiful colors! I  have green now! LOOK!

James: No it WAS green!

Elle: Look Miss Lisa! We made green.

James: No, I tell ya, it WAS green.

Elle: Well, that’s how I made it!

James: That’s how I made it.

Elle: I made it!

working together, talking together

After experimenting with splatter painting, the two quietly and  independently bring  their paint jars to the sink to clean up their brushes and jars (but not necessarily the collateral splatters, until they were pointed out!)

To the casual observer, this interaction is simply child’s play. After years of teaching, Chip Wood’s workshop on Child Development Matters, provided some recalibrating of my teacher’s eyes.  Chip spoke so eloquently about the characteristics of development from ages 4 through 14 and how teachers and parents can capitalize on the strengths of each stage.  So while these two nearly -fours were beginning to talk to each other in meaningful, interactive ways, the conversation would slowly creep into a near-conflict as each child’s perspective began to take precedence.  Then as  their egocentric nature bubbled up, the ensuing silence allowed them to refocus on painting and the conversation would pick up again.  Other times, a seemingly small disagreement heated up and a simple question like, “what else could you do with the paint?” or “is there another way you could share?” helped these two painters quickly re-engage in a more calm manner.  As a result of reflective questions, these children were given the space to develop their interactions without the pressure to comply with absolute rules. These small conversations about paint and their work are practice for the give and take of cooperative problem solving that comes regularly in upper grades and throughout life.

Stages of development are cyclical, typically lasting about 6 months.  Checking  in on where your child is and how you can support him is  something you can schedule for around birthdays and half birthdays. Whether you’re a teacher or a parent, taking time to reflect on developmental hallmarks and growth patterns periodically can help bring out the best in children.  It also lets you to see their world better through their eyes and perhaps even get a chuckle or two along the way!

Friends, Friends, 1, 2,3 – Part 1

Friends, friends

1, 2, 3

All my friends are here with me….

This simple song has been a part of nearly week, if not day, I’ve spent with children for many, many years.  It’s simple, yet  welcoming, comforting, and optimistic.

How lucky are any of us on any day to be surrounded by friends?  As most  adults know, friends don’t come – nor stay – easily.  It’s an intricate process of give and take, yin and yang, lessons and laughs.  Ideally, each friend offers something and gains something in a climate of mutual respect and care.

That’s big stuff. Especially in early childhood. But that’s where it all starts.

Working together at three to make a collaborative collage.

Child development specialists like Louise Bates Ames, Chip Wood and Nancy Carlsson Paige remind us that research and reality show us that three- to six- year-olds are concrete thinkers who have yet to view their world logically.    Ideas are based on what they see in that moment, not an understanding that  a conflict doesn’t mean the end of a friendship.  Children this age view the world eccentrically – it’s all from their point of view.

Friends experience conflict and conflict is, by definition, is a road block.  With the careful signals and tools to navigate, teachers can help children begin to express their needs, momentarily take the point of view of another human being and resolve conflicts. It’s here that the primitive stages of cooperative play emerge, usually when the interests of children intersect.  But when they collide, that egocentric nature overrides an interest in playing with others. A multitude of positive social experiences will help children slowly think outside themselves to develop a repertoire of prosocial skills that invite and invigorate cooperative work and play.  It’s a process that takes years to unfold, but lays the foundation for healthy relationships, positive school experiences and rich endeavors outside the classroom.

As I work with three- and four- year-olds to model conflict resolution skills or social skills, my mind flashes to the future.   These wee ones are building a repertoire of social and personal skills that will shape them down the road.  I hope that their small group of friends is providing them fertile ground for sowing the seeds of confidence, reasoning, friendship and joy.

And then I think about how lucky I am to  be here with these little friends, watching them become bigger friends.

P.S.

Check back next week for some snapshots on friendship over the years.  If you’re looking for a compelling new read on early childhood, check out my current favorite child development book, Taking Childhood Back by Nancy Carlsson Paige as well as the seminal work by the Gesell Institute  or Chip Wood.

Ernestine Buckmeister Teaches Us A Lesson

The Busy Life of Ernestine Buckmeister by Linda Ravin Lodding

Last week I wrote  Patience, Grasshopper with 6 tips for settling into the new school year.   As I revised it, it occurred to me that I left off some pretty basic ways families can slow down and live in the present moment, as they settle into new routines. And then I remembered the valuable lessons Ernestine Buckmeister teaches us.

In fact, these are so basic, these lesson  stare us in the face yet often defy recognition.

1. Play. Be silly. Pretend.
2. Be outside. Observe. Enjoy.
3. Once in a while, scrap the busy calendar.

Just ask Ernestine, and she’ll show you.  She’s the uber-scheduled heroine who pals around with Nanny O’Dear each week. Ernestine’s calendar includes yodeling, yoga, karate, and knitting, just to name a few.  Like many children, Ernestine’s  busy schedule is set up by her well-meaning and loving parents, who themselves are so busy at work, that have outsourced the supervision of Ernestine’s schedule to the trusted and venerable Nanny.

Any of this sounding hauntingly familiar?

Sure, we’re all busy.  Especially if we are raising kids and working to ensure there’s a roof over head, food on the table, and generally provide for the myriad of needs and wants that come with raising a family. It’s easy to think the hectic pace is just “us.”  Recently, I asked a friend how she was, her was her response was, “ah, well (l-o-n-g sigh)… You know, I am in that marathon that starts September 1 and ends in June.”  Yikes.

But most of us can empathize.  It might feel like you are isolated or perhaps that you are an 0utlier, but you are not alone. But as a teacher who sees dozens families do the same juggle each year, believe me, you are not alone.  Most of us are doing “it”  – the marathon, the juggle, the merry-go-round, the circus, whatever name you give “it.”  Some of us have the courage stop the madness and slow down. Even little Ernestine summoned the courage to stop for an afternoon. Be brave. Be bold. Stop your own personal circus just for an afternoon. If you haven’t tried it, plan on trying it. Go ahead, put it in your calendar and see what happens!

Engage your family in a discussion about what the new schedule feels like. Do you have kids that like to have something most days? Or would they enjoy an afternoon home with you to putter around? Honor those plans to take a day off.  Research shows our kids need that down time from unstructured play, so no need to beat yourself up for skipping those yodeling lessons. Time in the back yard or painting at the kitchen table along side of you will give your child time to decompress, consolidate learning from a full day at school, connect to you and broaden expressive language or problem solving skills. If you don’t feel like you can make a preemptive strike, then tread carefully. Watch for signs of over load.  And when the schedule feels too full, patience is waning,  or a cold is coming on -  take a tip from Ernestine. Schedule a day off and see what joys you can find!

Need some convincing? Let Ernestine show you or herself.  Check out her story with a  peek at the pages.

Once inside, I think you’ll concur. Linda Lodding skillfully captures modern-day childhood at it’s best and not-so-best. Well-intention parents, like the Buckmeisters, often forget that time with loved ones, time alone and certainly, time and space to explore and play are critical to childhood.   Lodding’s tongue-twisting names,  hilarious text, and lessons on the importance of play are complimented by Suzanne Beaky’s whimsical illustrations.  It’s a combination that immediate attracts and then sustains the readers’ attention to create a lasting story that let’s us all find  personal connections. Ernestine is sure to earn her place among such classic literary  heroines as Clementine, Eloise, Madeline, Ramona and Junie B. Jones!

Patience, Grasshopper. 6 Tips to Help Settle Into the New School Year Routine

Patience Grasshopper

Honeymoon is over.

If you’ve been in any long-term relationship, you know that feeling.  The initial adrenaline and excitement begins to wane.  Now things just feel off. Unsettled. Different. Change, no matter how much we crave it, can make us tighten our shoulders, deplete our patience, and may even trigger feelings of frustration or loss.  When the excitement wears off, the new normal doesn’t quite feel normal at first.

Patience, Grasshopper.

The new normal will prevail. If you are patient. If you are committed. If you can remember to  inhale.  If you can pause at that quiet space (you know, that one that calls you just before you exhale) and reflect.  If you can then really exhale as you accept the new normal with patience, faith and determination.

I am talking to you – teachers, parents, kids – and me.  For most of us, we’re hitting the third or fourth week of school.  The honeymoon is o-v-e-r. The new reality might feel uncomfortable. Unfamiliar. Unsteady. But with patience and resolve, you will settle in and probably even thrive.

To get down and dirty, folks are getting tired, sick, overwhelmed. As a parent, it is easy to give in and cave to the whining for help (when they’ve been learning to be more independent) or to let them sleep in or stay up late (because they are mentally and physically spent from all this adjusting). It’s easy to do homework for them when it feels hard. It’s tempting to blame new, undesirable behaviors on other kids, the teacher, or the school when it might just be that your child has moved into a less-smooth phase of development. Or maybe they’re acting different out of fear or worry about the new school year.

As a teacher, it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough in the classroom and become gripped by that overwhelming sense of how much you’re not doing.  But really, you’re doing so much for so many. Maybe you’re reaching for some Advil by 3:30 because you’ve been using so much redirecting language your neurons need their own redirecting. It’s a good thing that you invested the time in modeling how to take a break and benefit from quiet time, because they each need it. In addition to teaching, you’re also writing newsletters, calling parents, preparing curriculum, attending meetings, skipping lunch, a workout or just making your own bed.  Your to-do,list(s) haunt you at night and keep you on the move all day. It’s the end of September.

“Chirp, chirp,” cries the grasshopper.  “Patience.”

Learning a new routine, getting to know new people and/or a settle into a new grade takes patience and time.  Rome wasn’t built in a day. A class community or a year of learning is not established in a week or a month.  So if you feel like you can’t get a handle on things, or even if you’re just trying to figure out what’s next, here are 6 ways to settle into the new routine and enjoy the ride.

1. Think Positive – Make a list of what’s working. There are things that are working. Re-read it often. Mine’s over my desk and on my phone as a way to combat those self-doubting gremlins. Not sure if your family routines are working? Read Are Your Family Routines Working for tips on evaluating what works and what could smooth things out at home.
2. Chunk It – Set small mini-goals for the week. Mine this week included “yoga once, run twice,” and “Have a spontaneous chat about life, not school, with colleagues.”
3. Commit It – Take a critical look at your calendar. Plan to be busy and plan to slow down. Commit it in your planner or PDA. We all get 24 hours a day, use them to your benefit.
4. View the forest. Set aside an hour to look at and plan for the next 2-3 weeks at school. Carve out time to look at the forest and then smaller blocks to plan the details.   Dedicate a period of time to look at the big picture, so that when the time comes for the details, you can chunk projects, tasks and assignment in the context of your goals, philosophy and values.
5. Check It Off – Make a short list of things that do not need to be done. Your list should include identifying Whose Urgency you need to attend to and whose you do not. Or perhaps you let go of a few chores at home that can slide or that you can delegate. Or maybe, you make it through a week of meetings without volunteering to do even one more teeny tiny task.
6. Be Happy – Make a list of what makes you happy and do at least one a day. Simple. Actionable. Life’s really too short not to have some fun each day.  If you spend your days with kids, there are so many ways to have fun if you don’t take yourself too seriously. Be sure to find things outside of school that bring a smile to your face, too!

At the end of the day, we all have things on our to-do list.  Chances are you can go home, relax, sleep and when you return, tackle it with fresh eyes tomorrow.  If you’re feeling overwhelmed, peel off the layers that have become roadblocks. Simplify. Enjoy.  This not only helps you maintain a sense of control with your new schedule, but it also sends a powerful message to the little people in your life. Change is apart of life, and we’ve got to adapt and ease into change so we can enjoy the ride, Grasshopper.

Kevin Freddy, the Blue Turtle

It’s been seven days of preschool or just four days, depending on whether my friends come three days or five. I’m nursing my first cold but I’m also already in love with these wee ones.  Like having a new-born, the first few weeks in preschool are full of energy, effort, and often, sheer exhaustion.  The love comes slowly, but surely, as we get to know each other.  There’s so much in front of them that’s new and different. Some are excited. Some are scared. Some are overwhelmed. And so are the children of these parents!   We’ve begun to see those irresistible smiles and hear those giggles as these three-year olds become aware and engaged in their new home away from home.

One day last week, one of my wee ones was having a particularly hard transition. There were tears, as we’ve had each day.  Buckets full.  Four of us sat nibbling on snack, suddenly the whimpers and shaking on my lap stopped and he yelled, “Miss Lisa – A SPIIIIIDER!” Of course, all four boys shuffled away from the table right away.  We let the big ‘ole daddy long legs back out the window.   As we watched him scamper away, the former crier remembered the box turtle we had watched the day before on the playground.  As they recanted what we observed, I was silently praising the Mighty God of Arachnids who seemed to be responsible for  squelching  this morning’s sadness.   I snapped back into the moment to notice that all three boys were excitedly talking about yesterday’s turtle to each other (real give-and-take conversation not always heard among threes!).

Their collective memory was that this box turtle was blue.  It was clearly time to seize their excitement and move on the blue turtle concept.  “You know what we could do today? We could make a blue turtle for our room!”I suggest with nearly as much enthusiasm as my friends.  They looked at me in disbelief and then started cheering, “blue turrtle…yeah!”  Our conversation quickly turned to what it would look like, what we would need, and what the turtle would have – a sword (“actually, at our school we keep everyone safe and a sword wouldn’t feel safe.”), a magic wand (“that’s possible.”), or a motorcycle (really not sure where this came from but they all seemed convinced our turtle should ride on one, so that might come next).

a sketch of our ideas

So as our first mini-project, these boys helped me gather our materials.  We talked through what shape the turtle would be, how many legs it would have, and how big the head would be relative to the shell.  We discovered how to use stubby paint brushes and work together to paint the shell and legs. We searched high and low for materials to use for a head.  As the turtle dried, we moved to imaginary play with small animals and the habitat we built on a low table.  Their minds were still on the turtle, and we began to discuss the name.  The former crier was insistent that it would be “Kevin.”  The others agreed and one added, “we can call him ‘Freddy’ for short!”

painting blue and green

Moments before we packed up to go, someone noticed (the 2-dimensional) Kevin Freddy was dry.  We had already crumpled paper to stuff his painted shell, so we quickly assembled Kevin Freddy.   As lots of proud smiles and loving hugs were exchanged,  we said good-bye for the day, knowing Kevin Freddy would be ready to introduce to the rest of our friends the next day.  When I returned alone to our room,  I hung Kevin Freddy on the wall and smiled.  We had made significant headway in building our class community, beginning with a feeling of safety and risk taking these little guys got from capitalizing on their impressions of a box turtle and subsequent conversations. These wee ones were able to share their ideas and become engaged in their own learning.  Surely, this was just the first of many collaborations  to come this year.   Kevin Freddy serves as reminder that simple actions of listening and engaging children gives them both the permission and freedom to  grow. And the for me, yields the added bonus of making all the effort so worth the investment!

Kevin Freddy, put together

Listen and Learn

Despite Mother Nature’s efforts to disrupt the start of school this past week, we are off and running!  There was a smidge of disruption  behind the scenes – a few more plants in the classroom would have been nice, a few more library books keenly displayed in the room, uniforms would have been ironed if we had power, staff meetings were condensed or postponed – but we made it through earthquake and hurricane.  The attitude of doing the best with what you’ve got certainly prevailed.  The forces beyond our control also served as a solid reminder that while a lot of the scurrying, prepping and planning one might do for the start of school is valuable, what really counts is establishing a positive and satisfying relationships with the children and families with whom we’ll spend this year.

In preschool, we start the year with a letter to each  child and family, followed up by short conferences and an abbreviated visit  in our room.  This meet-and-greet format may seem simple, but the true purpose is for each of us to listen and learn and to set the tone for on-going dialogue.   As teachers, we have the experiences and perspectives on child development and curriculum.  Parents and grandparents are a child’s first teacher and know that individual child far better than we do at this time.  Just like with students, parents need to have basic needs met before they can take risks (i.e. send their child off to school relatively stress-free).  Adults need a sense of belonging, a feeling that they are significant and an understanding that this new envirnoment will be fun and engaging. Most families also come to preschool with a long list of thoughtful questions ranging from the mundane (“Does my child need a folder?”) to philosophical questions (“How do you handle discipline?”), so this meeting also serves an important need to cover the nuts and bolts that allow busy parents to check a few tasks off their lists.

Once we answer the important mechanical questions, it’s time for me to do more listening and learning.  I love asking parents to share the first three words that come to mind when they think of their child. Some chuckle, some break into a smile, others pause and think for a bit.  The follow-up question is “What are some of your child’s strengths?”  There’s often a longer pause or a larger smile.  After just three years together, parents often recognize traits that will stay with a child a life time  such as “thoughtful,” “playful,” “inquisitive.”   Other times, the adult comments reflect the classic hallmarks of a three-year-old  like “wants my attention or approval,” “loves stories,” or  “attached to…(specific everyday items).”  These observations not only provide keen insights as to who the child is at this moment in his/her life, but also help me gauge how much information the family will need and/or want  in terms of child development and parenting.  I love hearing parents talk about their children, whether it’s a slow metamorphosis from reserved dialogue to a relaxed, proud sharing of this little person they love so dearly or an enthusiastic and unequivocal campaign speech of their child’s personality, strengths and life outside of school.  I learn so much from these meetings about the child’s interests, the parents engagement with school, and how we can best work together to support individual children, families and our program.

Just as these parents expect that their children will learn from their teachers and school, I expect to learn from these families and their children. Already, I’ve learned these four of these children are bilingual in three different languages.  Some have traveled or lived overseas. Some are raised by nontraditional families or  live in diverse cultures, while others are first or fourth in a family.  Each and every one of these wee ones came into the classroom with a certain level of comfort, but in just a few short hours became more engaged in the environment and with adults and peers.  It’s a slow unfolding that I am fortunate enough to help facilitate, yet respect that much of their development and growth will unfold precisely when each child is ready.  To best serve the child’s needs and to honor the unique personality of each,  all the adults in each child’s life will need a strong partnership.  This is just the beginning.   Like standing on the high on a mountain or along the shore of the beach, the first days of school offers so many lessons and provocations when you take the time to listen and learn before embarking on a long, fulfilling  journey together.

Easing Back into the Next Chapter

First Day Fun

The end of August signals the start of school and the transition to the next phase of life.  The flow of summer can come to a grinding halt or steady shift as we begin to find the new rhythm of the school year.  It can be stressful or challenging to all involved, especially to children if they sense that same trepidation in the adults they watch. It’s also exciting and invigorating as September means the prospect of  new learning and friendships, as well as new school supplies and clothes, too! It’s time to capitalize on the life lessons of embracing change, life-long learning, and the promise of a fresh start!

As with any ups and downs in life, young children and elementary-age children benefit from the deliberate conversations adults can initiate during these stages of life.  Furthermore, some careful planning (which hopefully you’ve begun) can ease that transition phase.  If you’ve got a week or so before school starts, consider the following shifts, which will help establish or maintain a new routine at home:

• Shop for clothes and books now.  Label supplies unless they will be community supplies. Ditto for lunch box, backpack, and uniforms. Model how to use a permanent marker and enlist the help of your child.

• Familiarize your child with school and the teacher. This might be a drive by or visit to school. A letter from or to a teacher. Checking out the website together. Getting together with new classmates. Write notes to the teacher, especially if there’s something your child likes, has a fantastic idea for, or has a twinge of worry they can express with a sketch or short note.

• Peruse cookbooks for new lunchbox options and/or dinner.  Take turns marking recipes with your child and spend some time the last few days baking and freezing goodies or trying new recipes.  While you’re at it, double up on some dinner you prepare this week to freeze, so you’ve got one less thing to do yourself during the busy first few weeks of school.

• Decide with any parenting partners, the parameters for the school year routine. Keep it flexible, but consider transportation, homework locations/routines, TV/screen allowance (or the absence of), household responsibilities, and schedule down time as well as activities.

• Once you decide on the above, engage in a conversation with your child to glean his/her input.  Make a visible schedule together and post it where your child can see it.  If your child tends to need prompt or reminders (or you feel like a nag by week 3), make short lists of the steps s/he needs to follow to independently get ready for school, unpack at the end of the day, or get ready for bed.

• Consider starting a trial run of your wake up and bedtime routines several nights before school starts.  In our house, my youngest started sleeping in until 10 am in early August.  That meant sliding bedtime and wake up back two full weeks before school.  We’re getting there, but it’s still hard.
• Enjoy the lingering hours of day light after-school. Twilight walks or down time to chat are still possible in many parts of the country this time of year, and remind us of long summer evenings.

For teachers, I can recommend no better way to help your students ease back into their new routines than with the deliberate pace and guidelines from the Responsive Classroom’s First Six Weeks.  Activities such as modeling routines and providing practice in the first few days, allows children to learn and internalize guidelines. Articulating hopes and dreams for the year helps to generate classroom rules. The gradual opening of classroom materials and engaging children to help organize parts of the room yields a sense of ownership for the place the learning which will unfold in the space they help create and maintain.  If you’re not already a follower, look for them on Facebook or their site.

Whether at home or school, children need (often crave) boundaries and guidance from caring and observant adults. Observe yourself  – are you calm, anticipatory, and viewing the start of school as a new opportunity to face life’s challenges, share your own talents, and learn from others? Your child will sense that and benefit from your enthusiasm, whether you are a teacher, a parent, or lucky like me, to be both.

Yikes, It’s August! How Can You Keep Balanced?

Whoa, Nellie! It’s August. Some folks are already back to school this week.  Others are in planning week with students arriving soon.  Others seem to have just settled into a summer routine and now it’s time to gear up once again. My summer has been unexpectedly hectic with a full calendar in the upcoming weeks as we get ready for school at the end of the month.  That sort of pressure is what really pushes me to work and play more efficiently, knowing that the  lolly-gagging of summer will come to a halt soon.  To that end, I made a quick list of things that had to get done in the coming weeks.  Things like:

• sitting in the sand with a mindless novel
• making a batch of jam
• packing up a fraction of the Legoes that go largely untouched and find someone who will put them to good use
• reviewing the calendar and schedules for the fall to make exercise and down time a part of the schedule

This last point caused me to pull out a book I read last fall, The Well-Balanced Teacher: How to Work Smarter and Stay Sane Inside the Classroom and Out.  I should probably just keep it front and center on my desk to keep me on track throughout the year!  If you’re gearing up for back to school and you haven’t already read it, grab a copy to help you get in the mind-set for a productive and balanced school year.  It’s a quick read that can yield great results and perhaps even keep you from feeling overwhelmed at the start of school.

If that doesn’t convince you, here’s a review of the book originally posted last September.

Happy August!

It’s it’s essential that we take care of ourselves  before doing our best to foster the healthy development of children.  Certainly, that the path to doing our best for children can be complex and murky.  The release of Mike Anderson’s new book, The Well-Balanced Teacher: How to Work Smarter and Stay Sane Inside the Classroom and Out brings clarity  to the strengths and challenges of a teaching life.

The Well-Balanced Teacher: How to Work Smarter and Stay Sane in the Classroom and Out is a masterful piece of work that delicately and articulately combines Anderson’s observations as a teacher and consultant with hard research and his keen observations about teaching and life.  This concise powerhouse of a read outlines how teachers need to – and can - care for themselves before they can give their best to students and schools. Seems like a pretty simple message, but if you know any teacher, you know that message often gets put on the back burner. Much like Daniel Pink asserts in his book, Drive,  Anderson  aligns the key to high performance in the classroom to the basic human needs.  We need to feel a genuine sense of belonging and significance and have a balance of autonomy and connectedness to allows us to feel  our work has meaning.  Simple concept. Challenging to put into action.

The Well-Balanced Teacher goes beyond citing what we already know about meeting basic needs (sleep, food, water) and feeling significant in our community and competent in our craft.  Many of the points Anderson makes are ones we know in our heart, but the reminders are appreciated.  He goes on to provide cogent tactics and strategies to work more efficiently. Some are pretty basic, yet functional (reworking your personal schedule to reflect a reasonable allocation of your resources) while others might be a paradigm shift (re-writing your goals to reflect observable data and respond to questions that arise to generate actionable goals).

Anderson’s voice as a thoughtful, experienced and empathetic colleague rings strong throughout the book.  He acknowledges most teachers are perfectionists who tend to deflect compliments, put in long hours, and desire to give each and every child their best.  He affirms these qualities but gently gives teachers permission to let go, relax and enjoy the ride without feeling that they’ve short-changed anyone or anything.   By clarifying your goals, affirming your strengths as a teacher and interests as a human, Anderson nudges teachers to be more proactive in asserting their needs (whether it’s to honor planning time or family time)  while also being realistic about your obligations to teach the curriculum and know your students.

Teaching is a stressful career with multiple layers of demands added regularly. Nobody can do it all, certainly not if sustaining a rich teaching and personal life is paramount. Anderson asserts that if we first accept that there is, in fact a time crunch, we can forge ahead to determine what is non-negotiable, peel off what is not essential (often by saying “no” or asking or support), and then streamline schedules and demands to work more efficiently.

Knowing that you’ve got a lot on your plate,  Anderson’s book is roughly 100 pages of concentrated observations and recommendations – simple, practical, responsive, actionable. Check it out on Facebook or on ASCD’s site and see what helps you be a more well-balanced teacher yourself.